Chaos. Calm.
To use these words together as in a chaotic calm is an oxymoron; they really don't make sense together. It's either calm or chaotic.
Not in my world (which I sometimes imagine is far far away in a land where...well lets explore that later).
Those two words describe exactly what it's like to put Inspire Magazine together.
Some days I am dramatic or overreacting as my husband says. I think it's never going to work, I don't have the time and the words aren't coming to me. Or someone said something negative about what I am doing... those are the days I feel like this crazy idea to own, operate and produce my own magazine was mistake. And the money, or lack thereof to fund such an entity, well I just don't go there.
Because...
The next day it all changes.
I get an encouraging email or I meet someone who has beat the devil and come out unscathed or I cover a school assembly and am inspired by the positivity these young leaders are pouring out to others. Incredible.
But how do I do it?
I go out meet people, hear their story and come back to my basement office and stare at a blank computer screen. Sometimes for hours with millions of different ideas sloshing around my head like the thermos of soup I just scrambled to put in my kids' backpacks as they ran out the door for school.
Then when the lights go out and my body lets out a giant sigh as my head hits the pillow, it all comes together. Everything starts to make sense and the words string together like the spiral rings of my notebooks.
That's when I wish our brains had a recording device. I could just flip a switch and replay it all when I get up the next day.
I have my notebook and pen beside my bed, but it's not always feasible to switch on a light to write when you have a bedmate --whether it be my kids, my husband or both!
I just pray that when I awake I can remember it as well as it sounded in my head before I fell asleep.
But what I am learning, is that it always works out. That blank page I had the other day, gets filled. That interview I needed but couldn't get, is found around another corner I didn't see before. I am training myself to trust my past experiences. I know it worked out yesterday, so that crisis I am in today will work out too.
And in the chaos of writing, laying out, editing, scheduling and interviewing there is always a message of hope that is calming. That's why I love Inspire Magazine.
And the third "C" that always follows the chaotic calm is the celebration. Whether it be finishing an article or making a connection with someone new, I always remember to celebrate the positive.